"If your marriage totally depends on having common interests, or enjoying a healthy sex life, then the foundation of your relationship is unstable"
Again, spot on. For so long, DW and I have been inseparable. We've grown apart in so many different ways, both wanting to do different things and those things have changed over time. That's been hard for me to accept and to reconcile as a part of a loving relationship. I'm so used to being with her that when we aren't together I get anxious, nervous, and upset. All bad things, and things I don't want to do.
I cannot honestly say that I have loved my wife unconditionally. I'm trying to learn how to do that, but it's so hard. A common theme to my story is how hard it is to express love and not get anything in return, or to only get a little bit in return. Example: I bought DW a CD that she's been waiting for months to hear. I stopped on the way to work and picked it up as a surprise hoping it would brighten her day. When I stopped by her office and gave it to her, she said thanks and went back to her work. A little later I got an email that said, "BTW, thanks for the CD, it made me happy." This little bit was worth its wieght to me.
But the lesson of this dare is to not do things to get something in return, but to love my DW because she is my wife. That is such a sea change in the way I've viewed our marriage and I don't know how I'll be able to reconile it.
You are right on - doing something out of love - not out of an expectation of a reward. I have and continue to struggle with this concept. I think this goes back to the earlier dares of being patient or being kind - kindness is not selfish. It is kind for the sake of improving someone else's life. The reward is the act itself. I have seen great rewards these past few weeks through following these dares, and none of these rewards were expected. I wish you luck through these dares.