Hi again,
I was wonderfully surprised reading this one, because I actually started changing the way I talked and listened to my husband 4 weeks ago.
The last year all my hurt feelings, distrust, resentment and not wanting to love him was leading the way I reacted to him. Especially the last few months since he told me he wanted a divorce. I would say things that would hurt him just to see a reaction. Got the wrong reactions every time. When he would tell me I hurt him, I would point at the letter in which all his negative thoughts about me were written down, basically telling him "I don't care how much I hurt you, you hurt me more." I actually always ended up hurting my self, because I didn't want to hurt him and always would with my words. I'd get frustrated and really low.
4 Weeks ago I decided I wanted to change all of that and up to now I have been able to, with God's help. Haven't said things that were hurtfull, haven't accuest him of things I had no proof off and haven't told him how much he was hurting me by his behaviour. Was actually up-beat and nice to him engaging in conversation ect. I thank God I'm able to keep this up and I will keep this up thanks to God.
I'm holding a door open for him, the door to my heart is wide open.
Well that's all for today, short and sweet,
God bless you
Mirjam
It seems you negativity has went away easily. Which is a good thing. Now what about your communication? Like when you see him for the first time of the day? And the last.
And I think it is great how much you have been leading your heart and not following it.
Hi Sean,
Thanks again for your comments, and I understand why you asked about my housing situation.
I don't see my husband all that much, but when I do see him I greet him with a smile and ask how his day was/is or how he is doing. When I know what he is busy with at work or in his spare time I ask him about that. I feel communication is getting better, but so far it's all been low impact stuff and not feelings or things like that. You see my husband doesn't want to share his feelings with me, actually he says he can't.
Will be taking things one day at a time, focusing on God and a better relationship with Him. I just want to become the person God wants me to be. I know God will work on my husband. It's going to be my husbands choice to accept Him, all I can do is pray and keep on my journey with God.
Bye now
Believe it or not, the basics at this point are the best. And the feelings part he has, is probably because in the males there is a pride thing. Dont know why, but when we are of the world the pride is the strongest and it makes us do stupid things.
Anyway, that is a good start, we all need the basics to go back to from time to time.