Day 5

Any thoughts??

Sean — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 05:00:00 GMT

Well on the Dr. part. You should care about your health. You have a family to take care of.

On the closed minded part. There is no doubt in my mind there are some things. Everyone that needs the dare has that problem. And part of me being humble in my journey, I had to open up and listen to my wife about things. I had to think back to things that she would try to talk about or discuss that I had already made my mind up on and would not even consider what she had to say.

This is a tough journey. Many of these things we are so used to they are second nature. We really need to take a step back and look at our own unkindness, selfishness, and more. And when we do see it, we need to change it. We need to humble ourselves to people around us. We need to throw our pride out the door and start to life and love as Christ did.

I feel so lost

Sean — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 05:00:00 GMT

Sissy, that is common where one would try and give up.

You are on day 5. Take each and everyone of these dares to the point that you can understand where you will make changes in your life and practice it daily. Remember this is a journey that is between you and Christ. This is for you to get to know Him better, to love like Him.... As each day goes on, you pray for wisdom, and He will give it to you. Each thing that goes on with your spouse consider it a blessing of a lesson Christ is teaching you. Be it, humbling your self, Handling it in a Christ-like manner, whatever the case may be.

I assure as you go on, the more you will learn how to let the Lord lead, and take control. We are all experts at asking, now this journey is time to become and expert at listening.... You can do this. And I promise each day Christ will work on him as well.

Re: Well the dare for day 5 I already knew

Sean — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 05:00:00 GMT

Part of this dare is trusting God and allowing you to follow his instruction. Listen to what he is saying. Do these things. This is your journey with Christ, you must trust Him.

Quit trying to do things the way you think... This is what gets all of us into these problems.

Day 5 7/8/2010

Sean — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 05:00:00 GMT

Do only the things the dare says do. Other than that, you are trying to control the situation. And as I said before things will get harder before they get easier. But these are the things that will humble you, that will make her notice the journey with Christ. Especially when you are not trying to control the situation or even manipulate it.

Day 5 bit surprised

Sean — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 05:00:00 GMT

Rejection is all part of this journey. You did your part, you did it from your heart. That is all you can do. Each day things like this will pile up on her and she will she changes. Especially when she gets angry and you do not respond in a negative way.

Day 5 - She is probably not reading my emails

Sean — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 05:00:00 GMT

What a humbling experience... That is a great thing in this journey. And do not push her to answer it. Just sit back and think about things she complained about and complete the dare that way.

Day 5: Daughters Grad Party

Sean — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 05:00:00 GMT

Stan, I am sorry to say, that is not a friend. In fact, I would be real careful around that person. With females, there is a sore spot when one can work on a marriage where another has failed. And if she is a busy-body type she will be more hurtful to your fixing it, than help.

I pray that your wife has better support around her than that. And be strong, because satan will use ever thing he can.

Dare 5: Went well...

BleuBear — Fri, 21 May 2010 05:00:00 GMT

Today was my day 5. I actually asked him day 5 question this morning without even knowing that it would be day 5's love dare. Needless to say a lot of tears came from him and myself. He told me that he is mad at me for not letting my past go. He told me that he felt that I couldn't just have him as my man. He said that he loved me from the 1st day we got together but I couldn't and never gave him love back in return because I put up a brick wall around my heart. He cried when he told me these things. And he didn't want me to touch him. He said it's hard for him to believe anything that I say now. That's why he has a brick wall up now to protect himself from getting hurt by me again. I wiped my tears and his and told him that I love him. Now I must find away for him to trust me again.

this was the toughest...so far

Sean — Sat, 15 May 2010 05:00:00 GMT

If she does not get a reaction out of you when she does things like that, it will get to her. That is one of the reasons it will get worse. There is no reason to be scared. You have Christ. If you confess to him and repent, then you are clean. He died on the cross for your sins. Smile, and move forward and give him your trust. When you are afraid that is not trusting him.

really discouraged today

Sean — Thu, 13 May 2010 05:00:00 GMT

Maynard. Please take a few moments to read my journals. There is much insight that you can get. Also, read the entire appendix when you can of the Dare. It will help you with prayer and leading your heart. It will lead you in a way that discouragment will go away... During this time, dont focus on what is going on, just focus on your journey with Christ.

Day 5...No Go

Sean — Tue, 04 May 2010 05:00:00 GMT

So you have no communication with him?

2nd Time Day 5

Sean — Mon, 03 May 2010 05:00:00 GMT

Otty, I think this is you taking the reins again. You dealt with it your way. You need to give it to Christ PERIOD.... If you are doing the dare for the second time, dont worry about what she thinks, and to be honest I doubt she will catch on. Remember you need to humble yourself.

Day 5 Ended Nice

Sean — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 05:00:00 GMT

My suggestion. This is your journey... When she throws a wrench in the journey for you, don't get in that trap. Remember you had time to want to change, that is why you are doing this. So, she has not had that time yet. So, you cannot expect her to know what you have learned and with that said her responses are going to be harsh and cold.

Next time, tell her you are in a process of figuring things out in your life with Christ, and this is something that you need to do. And since she is not in that same journey, it is something that she will not really get anything out of at the moment, and you are prepared for the responses because there is a real purpose behind it. So tell her, out of respect for her, please allow you to do this the right way.

Day 5 Confused.....

Sean — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 05:00:00 GMT

I will be the first to tell you. It will get worse before it gets better. But that is part of the Journey... God is going to mold you to the changes you need to make for HIM>> Not your husband. Again take the time for your Journey with Christ... Leave your husband for God to deal with.

Day 5...Love is not rude......but I am...

Sean — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 05:00:00 GMT

Each day will have its blessings... You just need to know that blessings are sometimes not what they seem... And do not forget to praise the Lord for all he does.

Patience

Sean — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 05:00:00 GMT

Janek, I think this is a very complicated thing. Which would hurt the response. But I feel you need the input, so here is my opinion.

I am not going to say you are right or wrong. However, God's love is unconditional. No matter what you say or do, he loves you... Why? Because he chooses to.

You need to start the Dare. You may find things that you are not thinking about. For example in my situation, my wife was already with someone else. She wanted nothing to do with me. And after sometime, I had finally realized that I wasn't right with God. And it was not until I got right with him that I was able to work things with her. It was an amazing experiance, because now, I always make sure that is the first thing I do.

When you do that. I am sure God will guide you to where he wants you to be. And even if her will is not to change, God will ensure that you are OK.

Day Five - Didn't have to ask...

Sean — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 05:00:00 GMT

Jesus is amazing. Commit your concerns to him and ask for the wisdom each day. As for the "list of wrongs", I would suggest that you stick with the Dare each day. No more, no less. Allow God to work his part in this, and I know it is hard, But do not interfere with him.

God not only used this for me to learn from, but it did miracles with my wife while I was doing it. But not until I believed that God was working with her and I was to only do the Dares!

day harder than I thought but ended up ok

rbmedic75 — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 05:00:00 GMT

ups and downs but we are still here. She had figured out that I was doing the dares and got pretty irritatted that I would not do them when she asked me to over a year ago so I had to lets things ease off a bit I have maintained the not saying things negative and (I have spoken honest but not i a negative manner) I try to keep doing little things to make her smile and sometimes it works sometimes it doesnt. I am up to day 8 I wrote my list and am getting ready to burn the negatives. But since I had not been doing them regularly, i wanted to read back over my post to get me back in gear I guess. Some days I think things are better some days i just dont know but there has been no more discussions about seprating so I thanks God for that. I find myself randomly praying throughout the day which is something I have never really done. If I get upset I walk away and take a few deep breaths and ask for strength so far so good. Which for me is huge my biggest problem with our relationship has always been my very "sharp" hurtfull tounge.

Day 5

Leslie Holmes — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 05:00:00 GMT

Nyarie, I can hear your pain loud and clear. It's been a few days since you've posted. How are things? The same? Different?

Day 5

Leslie Holmes — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 05:00:00 GMT

Yes. Keep pressing on.