After my horrible behavior the night before I realized how much jealousy really played a part in what happened.
4Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood, But (A)who can stand before jealousy?
This all plays a part in believing the best about your spouse. If you let jealousy overshadow everything then how can you possibly let your spouses best interest be first. I admit I have a problem with all three of these things: wrath, anger and jealousy. I am praying very hard that the Lord would take these attributes out from me as I have let them rule my actions and dictate my behavior. I guess that comes back to taking up your cross daily and following Jesus.
I also realized that out of everyone I should be the one cheering her on the loudest and pushing her to do her best. Instead of tearing down her accomplishments and belittling her work. All that because I am insecure in my role as provider. NOT GOOD.
For the dare I went out and bought her a plaque telling her how proud me and the boys are of her. She seemed somewhat pleased. I am not very perceptive on finding out good things that occur in her life as she hardly ever wants to talk to me but I am hopeful that I can keep my eyes out for other things that she does that can be celebrated. Please pray that God will provide me with the ability to perceive things that she is proud of so I can celebrate it with her as well.
Things between us made a turn for the better last night as she initiated intimacy between us (it has been a while). I think she knows how hard I am trying and I am happy that she understands that. I also asked her to pray for me that God would take my insecurities away from me as I know that I alone can not do it but only by the grace of God.
it really does seem like you've turned a corner. glad to hear of your progress.
Leslie Holmes
Community Builder