Love Dare Blog - All Comments

re: Day 14: Love takes delight

Tim2 — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:48:00 GMT

Ok some background before I ask the questions. My wife and I have been married for 8 years have one step son who is 16 and we have two daughters together 7 and 6. We have had a rocky relationship from the start. She has filed for divorce on me twice and I left twice. Very bad I know but we are in the middle of the second divorce and have already had the first hearing on temporary child support and custody. We both have been very hurt in this relationship, we both have said and done things in anger. Truth is I never loved my wife the way the bible says to love her. I take full responsibilty for the things that have occured because I didnt put God first in my life, my marriage, and I didnt cherish her. I do not want this divorce and I will fight till the bitter end which I have expressed to her. She continues to tell me thats fine but to live my life because she is happy now living with her parents and my stepson and two daughters. I am in the our house by myself. I need some help with this dare. We hardly talk, and when we do it escalates to her shouting at me. I have learned enough through prayer and the previous dares to keep my mouth shut. Believe me when I say this....its very hard for me to do this. I keep praying for God to change my heart, and I believe he is, but how can I be for sure. I have been pretty selfish in the past, but I am begging God for this. Ii have asked him to show me things in my heart that I need to get rid of and he has. So enough on the background. Anyone have any suggestions for this dare? and by the way I travel with my job and am gone through the week most of the time. I just happen to be working in town this week.

re: Day 7: Love believes the best

sissy — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 04:17:12 GMT

He had been spening as much time as possible away from home and me. He says he need time to think. I understand i know God is working on him. So being alone i have had lots of time to think. I have really concentrated on not being selfish and demanding his attention. I have reviewed/reread the last 7 days material. I pray hourly for strength to endure the dare and that I have the patience to continue to ask for Gods will. I pray for the safety of my husband and that he will keep his mind open to hear God speak to his heart.

re: Day 8: Love is not jealous

trustinggod — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 18:33:14 GMT

I have not burnrd my list yet, but I will today. I have been doing the love dare on another website. I got really discouraged after a conversation we had yesterday and I have been searching for ways to stay encouraged since then. Praying for restoration........

re: Day 5: Love is not rude

Jason — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 21:54:42 GMT

my wife stated that she is irritated when i don't take initiative on health issues with myself . I don't usually go to a dr or dentist and my wife has to make appointments. Also she says I am close minded about things but when asked for examples she did'nt give any. Now she did also say during this conversation that she notices for herself that she is quick to anger with me and yells at me allot. She stated that I don't deserve this and maybe shes bejond help and is'nt menat to be in a marriage (our is her 3rd) any thoughs on how to address this?

re: Day 1: Love is patient

Sean — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 12:26:58 GMT

The dare has to start with someone. Allow God to work with you, focus on this journey with Christ. Allow Him to work in you and I assure you He will also work on your husband.

Under "THE DARES" is a daily forum, where I and others will comment on your posts if you are interested.

re: Day 7: Love believes the best

sissy — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 18:03:49 GMT

I find that i have done this numberous time over the last few weeks while i've been trying to explore

the things that others love so much about him because i have recently had a hard time finding them. This has really been an eye opener. I have blocked these for a long time. I remember thinking in the past why i loved him and seriously could not come up with one single thing. God has shown me many this week.

re: Day 1: Love is patient

nene1165 — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 01:54:27 GMT

I have the movie...have the book...but never got past 3 days myself. I have a crazy marriage. We are both Christians - but I am unhappy. I know it's God's will for a family to be restored, and I stay. But I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I told someone in my family that I was done, and they sent the book to my hubby. He has no desire to read it...to act on it...to reach out to me. It was sent to him in a "your eyes only" envelope - and he came in and showed me it in a frustrated manner.

His family has no sense of love and compassion shown to each other. There's no hugging, no tenderness. I just came away from a vacation and I was broken by the fact that is reality. Seeing his father and step mother function - I realized that is his way of being. No matter how much I tell him what I need...he can not hear.

I am trying to stay married - but the obstacles seem startling. My sister put it blountly to me, that I don't really love myself. She challenged me to do the dare in more ways than one. That alone is hard to explain - but I am taking the steps to try. Maybe I will be able to get past day 3. So, I am starting at night - so I will being Day 1 at night and forge ahead.

When I see or speak to my husband within the next 24 hours, I will watch what I say. I will also watch what I say to myself. I will not say negative things to him - nor myself.

God will make a way - where there seems to be none.

re: Day 1: Love is patient

nene1165 — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 01:54:26 GMT

When I see or speak to my husband within the next 24 hours, I will watch what I say. I will also watch what I say to myself. I will not say negative things to him - nor myself.

God will make a way - where there seems to be none.

re: Day 22: Love is faithful

augustus — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 08:39:11 GMT

I have but my wife still presses on with divorce.What boggles my mind is that a born again believer in Jesus Christ decides to up and pack it in,what does it saydo to that persons commitment to God.What ever happened to for better or worse,for richer or poorer?

re: Day 10: Love is unconditional

Starlight — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 03:05:10 GMT

Marie,

You are a strong & wonderful woman. I commend you for your love & strength & desire to have this True Love. For True Love is very rare today & very few are willing to do what it takes to have & keep it. But the rewards for having True Love are eternal & all powerful & will one day bring you the greatest happiness & blessings imaginable.

I know you can do it, but it takes God's help to endure & gain this kind of love. Pray to him everyday for the love & strength & inspiration you will need to love someone who may not love you back the same yet. I promise you it will be so worth it. Just keep remembering the guy in Fireproof & how he cried as he confessed his wrongs to his wife & realized he couldn't live without her & begged her to forgive him. Your husband will one day do the same to you. You are his everything, yet he probably doesn't realize it yet. When our spouses break their covenants to us it clouds their thinking & they forget how important & precious we are to them.

Love him up as much as you can & serve his every wish as much as you can each day, even if he doesn't deserve it & even if he is being mean to you. If will make him see his bad behavior even faster, the nicer you are to him. But do ask him to do your little wishes here & there too, if it won't upset him, as much as he is able to. So he can have the opportunity to serve you, which will help him fall deeper in love with you. For we grow to love those whom we serve. So help him serve you too if he's willing. His feelings of love & desire to serve you will also grow the more you really appreciate & are greatful for every little thing he does for you. Gratitude works magic!

Try to not argue with him, give him anything & everything he wants, unless it is something bad or evil. But also ask for what you would like too, but with no expectations. If he does it, than give him lots of love & appreciation for doing it.

Doing these things will cause you to fall more & more in love with him, no matter what he does. With stronger feelings of love, you will then be able to keep loving him until he one day can reciprocate it back to you. I wish you the best with this.

You are wonderful for trying so hard & I know God is so appreciative of you loving his son, who he knows may be hard to love. God will reward you with everything you ever wanted someday, as you strive to have 'True Love', which is the one thing Christ came to earth to teach us.

Fairy Tales can come true, if we will only believe in the kind of love that makes it happen..

re: Day 10: Love is unconditional

Marie — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 02:24:00 GMT

Thank you Starlight! I am trying. I am too stupid or stubborn to just give up. I am not sure which it is! He is making me nuts. He held my hand twice today on his own doing, and commented how much he loves his family, but he says he doesn't think we will work out! I HATE THIS FEELING!!

re: Day 10: Love is unconditional

Starlight — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 08:42:32 GMT

Marie,

Yes. One can always make it work, eventually, if you are willing to have & show 'True Love', the kind that never gives up & never ends, no matter how long it takes for him to come around.

God promises us that its impossible for a spouse to really divorce us, if we have kept our vows to them. They may buy a divorce decree, but to God it means nothing. You are still 100% completely married in Gods eyes, if at least one of you wants the marriage to last & stays faithful to their spouse with True Love. That means no dating or remarriage, you wait til your spouse returns & repents, as long as it takes. Always showing love & service to them at every chance. But one thing is for sure - God does not honor or recognize unjustified forced divorce. To him it's as good as a blank piece of paper.

It may take a long time for your spouse to come around but God never asks us to give True Love unless he can promise that our spouse will one day return that love. Every marriage can be saved, if at least one spouse will hold on as long as it takes & show True Love continually, no matter how our spouse treats us. Though we may need to protect ourselves from especially physical abuse.

The wonderful feelings of being in love, that come from our showing True Love, will help us get through the hard days while we wait for them to repent & love us in return.

True Love always wins, it conquers all in the end. True Love lives forever.

Jesus Christ taught us to love even those who don't love us, those who may even hate or hurt us. Because he knew that True Love will eventually win out & save our spouse from hell someday. Thus it is worth having True Love so you can save your spouse, for they are in great trouble with God for breaking their covenants to you, but if you love them anyway, you can save them from an eternity in hell. They will one day repent from hurting you & all other sins, but then live forever in love with you.

True Love makes all dreams come true eventually.

re: Day 10: Love is unconditional

Marie — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 06:35:19 GMT

I don't think I can do this anymore. He doesn't want to make it work. He wants me to be perfect. I want to make this work, but can one make it work if the other is resolved to leave?

re: Day 1: Love is patient

sissy — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 02:13:58 GMT

My husband stayed at home this morning - for the last few days he has not been around because he said he needed space to think. That is until this evening when he felt the urgent need to go see after his friend's well being because she is being abused by her husband. I do believe there is no affair but there is definately a connection he has with her that he does not with me. He thinks he may love her. I have had lots of difficulty with this and exteremly hurt but i have become very grateful in the last few days that he has chosen to make his feelings known and be completely honest about his feelings about both her and I . He has not had a physical relationship with her but I know his heart is not mine at this point. I love him and i pray that i will have the opportunity to love him like i should and be the kind of wife he needs.

which leads me back to LOVE IS PATIENT. Lord i pray for the patience and a calm heart as i sit waiting for his return knowing where he is at. Lord help me not to be upset and jealous or start an arguement when he comes home.

re: Day 1: Love is patient

sissy — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 17:27:34 GMT

I'm exciteded and scared to start this dare. Day one should be easy as i generally have lots of patience. My only issue with this is i want my husband feels he needs more time to decide if he wants to stay together. He feels theres no hope that we will make it. I need to have patience that this is in Gods plan. I need to understand what it means to truely love and respect my husband. I need to wait and see what awesome works my great God can do.