I'm kind of afraid to start. The walls that I have built up are built of low expectations from him, so I don't get hurt. What if I just expect more, and get more resentful? And then I have to face the reality that this marraige may not be the best thing for me. It is usually so much easier to just be tough and laugh everything off. Well not really, his selfishness really makes me angry and breaks my heart all the time. What if I just screw it up? What if it just makes me more dissapointed?