Love Dare

Day 5: Love Is Not Rude.

Timothy Allen Monroe — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

This is day five for me and I am certain that my wife would say that the three things that irritate her the most about me is:

1. That when she cooks anything for me; that I have a tendency to criticize her cooking.

2. That I complain about doing housework.

3. That I do not actively participate in helping her on a Saturday morning to do laundry with her at the laundromat.

There are some solutions that I know that would be helpful to my wife:

1. Even if she burns the hotdogs; hamburgers; or sausage patties, that I will still eat them and do so with a smile. : - D

2. Since I am currently unemployed; stop making excuses that I cannot help with cleaning the apartment.

3. Get up early on Saturday mornings and help her do laundry at the laundromat and help bring it back to our apartment and help fold the laundry and put it away.

Ill be honest....

liko — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

I skipped this one. My husband and I have a horrible relationship and he thinks every thing is my fault. He complains about me, my kids, or things that go wrong which could be related to me every day several times a day. He is literally the most critical man I have ever met. I say nothing negative to him (I used to as a defense but it does no good). The other thing during arguments, he often brings up that no matter how many times I tell him I will change something about me, I never do. So here is how I am pretty sure this conversation would go : Me. Hey honey what are 3 things that irritate you that I do? Him: well there are more than three , and it does no good to tell you because you never change. then he would give me examples. Then he would ask what I was doing and why.

well....I know I should do this but it would start a fight and I hate to hear the critisism all the time. I guess I am asking for someone to tell me to grow up and stop being a baby or give me permission to wait on this .... maybe day 20-30???

thanks

He is cheating on me! :(

Dani — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

I am 99% sure that my husband has been seeing someone else. I am so angry right now. How could he do this to me again and this time we have a child together. I am at a total loss of what to do. I want to confront him and give him the chance to explain. I don't agree with his actions but I still love him and want to be with him if he wants to be here. He has still been coming around and spending time with me. Has anyone dealt with this before? I need help, guidance and prayers.

Day 1 patience

Crystal — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

I actually started this Love Dare a long time ago - things got really good, and I stopped. Now I can't find my book. :( I'm back to start it again. Things are still good, well better than they used to be, but we struggle with things at times and I forget the basics.

So far today I know I haven't said anything negative, but I also haven't seen him much today. Its hard when we are not married, we are not living together, so we don't see each other ALL day or anything. But even in phone conversations the dares can apply.

I'm looking forward to starting this again.

Love Is Thoughtful Everyday; Not Just Day 4 of The Love Dare Challenge.

Timothy Allen Monroe — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

Just want to say to all of us men and husbands; that everyday we need to be thoughtful of our wives and girl friends and to tell them that they matter to us and that when God is involved in the conversations that we have with our wives and girl friends; that God is pleased to hear pleasent conversations that are offered up to Him as a sweet fragerance or aroma that is pleasing to Him; Christ Jesus; the Holy Spirit; and our brothers and sisters-in-Christ. Men: when the women in our life want to communicate with us we need to more attentenative and listen to their every word throughout their conversation's.

Day 4: Love is Thoughtful-Wednesday, March 10, 2010.

Timothy Allen Monroe — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

This is day four for me for "The Love Dare" and when Rebecca tells me about her day's which is mainly Tuesday's and Thursday's where she volunteers at Muskegon Vineyard Christian Fellowship and she comes home from volunteering at the church by helping answering telephones; taking messages; and helping with assisting another member of our church congregation cleaning the church and when she comes home she wants to me to actively listen to her and not open my mouth to say anything sarcastic about her day. Really I need to listen to my wife everyday and not tune her out; because every conversation that my wife says to me is to be preciously stored up in my heart as a sweet aroma offered up to God.

Here we go

Blythe — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

Thank you Leslie. I'm waiting to officially start until I get my book in. I need some sort of devotional to help me with this. I keep catching him in lies and hes only admitted one of them to me. I pray to God that he would show me when he wasn't being truthful to me or to give me red flags. And he was watching porn and still can't admit it to me. I put a key logger on the laptop to make sure it wasn't a virus and I was falsely accusing him. But there it was. And I went up to him and was so compassionate and understanding. I was huge pregnant and I know that weirds some men out. And all I got out of hit was yelling, a hole in our wall, and another threat for divorce. I caught him smoking so he admitted he was ashamed and told me. He "lost" $100 cash. And just today he went to put back the $600 he pulled out of my account. But I noticed there was also a $140 withdrawal and he can't give me a reason for it. I had used about $50 of the $600 but when he deposited it, on my account it shows a 600 dollar deposit. and he has given me 4 different stories on how he counted 600, didn't count it the machine did, then the teller counted it, then the machine messed up and gave him more. It was 3 separate transactions 400, 200, and 140. These all have bad feelings behind them and I know he's not telling me something. And sometimes I feel he's had someone else this whole time. I feel so helpless and abused. And I'm told that I'm taking him for granted. I pray and feel that God is telling me to stick through this and not give up on a marriage. Or maybe that is my wants clouding my head. I just don't know how much more I can take. For someone who screams when he thinks he's getting lied to, he sure does lie to me a lot.

Very Sad Say 5

Heather — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

I was out of town for a week, but now I am back. I am so glad that I have all the support from so many other people God has put into my life. Thank you for your prayers. I KNOW that God is working in my husbands life....he just doesn't see it yet. You are right about the Dare's. It makes you really think about the reasons why you loved in the first place. By me doing this book, I have realized that I am so disconnected with my husband and that I need to work double time to re-kindle our relationship.

My Day 7

Heather — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

I am a little behind on my dare's was gone for a little over a week, but now I am back in the groove. I had done my day 7 before I left so I am posting it now. My positive and negative seemed to even out on each list. It was very hard for me to think of the positive things, but I di. My husband is a wonderful cook, hard worker, and has a giving heart when he is able to do so. I thanked my husband for working so hard to take care of his family. This revealed to me that I need to really start paying attention more to the good things my husband brings to the table as well.

It's in His hands

Young Moses — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

I awoke to a beautiful morning today. The air was crisp, the sun was shining and I received an early morning phone call from someone needing to vent. This person was frustrated with a mutual friend of ours who they'd bumped into just the night before at an event. I won't get into details, but what I will say is that our friend was drunk and overly obnoxious placing their self and all who know of them on a personal level in a very compromising position. This drunken person embarrassed several people who were in attendance last night and several who were not in attendance as well. Unfortunately the drunken individual does not seem to be in a place where God's voice can be heard because otherwise there is no way they would be carrying on in such a manner.

I am thankful for this book and this website because it allows me an opportunity and a vehicle to share my life lessons. Since I have been on the 40 day dare I've learned more and more patience. I've come to truly understand that we must accept people where they are currently in their life. You see right now my friend who was drunk last night is in a deep place of turmoil, confusion and pain. I would almost venture to say that they are fighting demons (most of us have at some point). They are seeking something, but maybe unaware of what that "something" is. My daily prayer for them is that they will find solace in the Lord. I pray that they will allow themselves to hear the word of God and allow Him to to His will.

I'm still a work in progress, but I know I'm growing because I wasn't too much bothered by the phone call this morning. It was almost as if I expected the call to come. It was my expectation based on me knowing where my friend is right now. You might ask, "Why don't you say something to your friend?" Good question! My answer is, I've tried on several occasions, in person, letters, text messages, etc. The Love Dare is teaching me everyday to be patient, to be forgiving, to be kind, and to be understanding. I'm only human and I'm sure I will have good days and bad, but I am glad I knew where to turn this morning when my phone rang. I immediately called on God to handle the situation.

The dares may seem as though they are devised to reconcile us with a spouse, but use the knowledge on a broader spectrum and watch the beauty of life unfold before your very eyes. I got to witness that beauty this morning!

Iva's journal

Iva — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

Iva's media

Iva — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

gmills12's journal

Grace — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

gmills12's media

Grace — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

Before starting this journey...

Grace — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

This movie changed how I felt about my marriage, my husband, and my role as his wife. After seeing it, I immediately went online to see if the Love Dare book could be purchased, and sure enough I found this site!

My husband and I are a young couple, dated for 4 years and married June 12, 2009. We have a beautiful little girl and a baby boy on the way! The last 6 months have been the most diffiuclt we've ever faced together, with getting married, planning a big wedding, moving in together, and the surprise of another baby we felt very overwhelmed. Even with counseling we both were on the brink of divorce, just calling it quits.

Now I'm looking forward to what this new journey will bring. My husband and I both have a new motivation to keep this marriage and home together. While he knows the Lord, but is not in intimate relationship with Him, I'm praying that this time will also bring him closer to God and to a covenant with Him.

Day 10 is here

Kathy — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

WOW - time has flown! I thought I was on Day 8 but found I'm on Day 10. As others have stated, this was relatively easy since I already try to do things for him. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing too much for him, though (I try to push that thought out of my mind).

So far, things are OK. There are no changes in his behavior or attitude.

Today, for the first time in several days (which is a big accomplishment for me), I checked his cell phone logs. I am very puzzled over why he will contact his girlfriend and me (via text) back to back; if he contacts one of us, he will immediately contact the other when he's done w/ the conversation (sometimes he has texted both of us at the same time). I have resolved to continue to NOT review the cell records - I know they are communicating (in person, on phone, on cell, email, etc.), so why torture myself??

I've looked ahead to the other Dares and I'm worried about how to accomplish some of them...

He said last night that he would be staying for a little while tonight, so I may try to do Day 11 by massaging his feet/back (which I do all the time anyway). I told him a few days ago that i'd love to rub his feet w/ scrub, after he's had them soaking. Maybe I'll do that tonight. I'm not sure if it's too much (for him!) if I do 2 Dares on the same Day.

I saw the new Fireproof e-cards, but I'm worried that if I send him an e-card, he will realize I'm doing the Love Dare.

What should I do/say if he asks me outright if I'm doing the Love Dare???

rfullingim's journal

rfullingim — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

rfullingim's media

rfullingim — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

What to do?

rfullingim — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

Me and my wife split up and we have a lilttle girl together. SHe is one. I see her all the time. Well my wife doesn't live with me she is staying at her moms. I want to take the ourney but I don't know how cause we only talk every so often. I said i wanted out but didn't mean it i feel like a fool. I think she is seeing someone else. What to do? I am trying to get help for me and we are trying cousling but how are we suppose to work on my relationship when she is getting happiness from another man? She is young and wants to have fun i am only two years older but have been thru so much as a Medic in the Air Force. Deployed three times.

Feeling Sad!

Leslie Holmes — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

The Love Dare may be very good for you guys because it is mostly non-confrontational. I truly hope that he is responsive to the changes that will come through you in the 40-day process. I'll be anxious to see how you guys are doing.